im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
