it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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