it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
