Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
