Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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