I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just tell him i said nine months
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
