and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
