Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
