There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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