Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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