I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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