If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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