he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
