I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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