Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
