goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
