my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
