are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
