id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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