is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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