I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
