so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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