So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
