Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
