you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
