woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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