that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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