when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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