i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
