i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
