Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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