i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
