when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
