Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
