I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
