I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
