Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
