omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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