The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
