I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
