we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't notice because vodka
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
