He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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