there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
