she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
