She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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