Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
