im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
