I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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