So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
