He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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